The courage to be seen.

The courage to be seen.

Long time, no write...sorry about that!  I'm trying to figure out if it's just me procrastinating, or just not feeling very creative in the realm of writing, or if it has just been terribly busy in my little world.

Honestly, it's a bit of all three.  I want to write, I have a few ideas for topics I'd like to write about, but then I get caught up in other endeavors, and the blog falls out of priority position. Oops.

The latest endeavor, if you haven't heard is a local festival that I'm participating in.  My first.  I hadn't planned on doing any festivals/fairs this summer since I'm still so new to all this.  I had made an inquiry to the organizers about how to secure a spot for next year, "since I'm sure you're booked for this season." Well, lucky me, they WEREN'T booked and they had a spot for me!  So i paid the $50 fee and started ordering up gear for my booth...with 30 days to prepare! 

I definitely didn't want to say no to this opportunity, though-the sooner I get my feet wet, the sooner I figure out what I like to do and where to put my energy.  As my mentor says, "You either win or you learn!"

As time ticks closer to the event, I've been thinking a lot about visibility and courage. When the idea for an art business was a tiny little spark and I was discussing what to name by business with my friend, I remember saying how weird it felt to put my name on something and be so exposed.  She kinda looked at me and was like, "Honey, your ART is going out into the world. Sorry, you're gonna be exposed." 

I had to think long and hard about my beliefs and fears about why I didn't "want my name out there."  First of all, back in the day (fellow oldies will understand what i'm saying here), we were taught about what a dangerous place the internet is, you don't put your real name out there, people are out to get you, blah, blah, blah. 

After a good, long think, I realized that no one could hurt me more than I've already been hurt!  I've been through the worst--and there is no need for me to hide my light or be ashamed! It's the people who hurt me who should be hiding from ME! Once I had that realization and decided to shift my thinking to "I am safe. The people who love me will support me. The universe is looking out for me."  I felt this immense sense of freedom.  I gave myself permission to let go of the fear and to trust that I can handle what comes my way.  This applies to both life and art, by the way. 

I've often felt in my life that some people didn't really know me or didn't 'get ' me.  But if I cannot show up as my most authentic self due to fear, how can I be accepted for who I truly am?  I'm thankful for that fear because I learned from it, and it kept me safe.  Without it, I wouldn't know courage.  But I release it now to surrender to the love that is available to the real Jess. 

Have a good week, friends. I'm hoping to get on a regular weekly posting schedule.  Bear with me while I work on the logistics of it.